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Up Coming Horror Your Past Life NDE Phenomenon Dracula		Amy

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2008

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naturalskeptic: hello!! i have missed talking with you! i hope all is well. you are in my thoughts and prayers!

LWM: .com/come on over and read my last 2 posts

LWM: .comCome by and read a touching story of Faith

What an Amazing world we live in

LWM: Blessings of the day to you. I have a new post up if you have time drop by for a read

Meryet: Hey friend! I hope all is going well for you! Judge not..right? Keep the faith!!

Krishna: Hi, Blog hoping

Jaci: YAY FOR HALLOWEEN!

pinaymama: hello care to exchange links??

Blake: Congrats on journal of the week!!

benchiegrace: hi there..blog hpping

K'Jan: I'm back! Thanks for caring!

DoyleSoft: Cool blog!

naturalskeptic: LOVE the religion post! I hope all is well over your way! Talk to you soon!!

Boink: This site has been officially Boinked!

Pika: I LOVE YOUR SITE! Who designed it?

LWM: Blessing to you and your life, theres a new

ALB

post at my place

mommyto2: CONGRATS ON jotw

Krishna: Hi, Congratulations for winning journal of the week award!

Kim: Hi jamie, thank you. I do love your lay out here.

naturalskeptic: Hi Jamie! Thanks for the tag!! Hope all is well with you and your! Bunch of hypocritical BS isn't it? Loved todays entry! Could really turn you on to some good books if you're interested! Keep in touch!

benchiegrace: hi thanks for dropin by my site..thanks also for your comments...really appreciated it...thanks a lot

benchiegrace: hi there...just dropin by...how are you?

Meryet: Hey Jamie! I'm baack! Come by and say hi sometime when you get a free second! talk to you soon!

The Holly Tree: Hi Jamie.

Thanks for the tag. I'm glad you like tmy place; feel free to come back any time.

LWM: New Message shared by The ALBs read it if you want to ignore it if you like, its your choice

K'Jan: Thanks for visiting my blog! You have a wonderful page.

retchel: doing my daily hop here..see you @ http://www.retchel1980.com thanks

Marites: Hi there..thanks for visiting :) hope you're doing good today.

LWM: New helping posts

at my place for those sad, hurting, feeling alone and dealing with old wounds

LWM: Hey How ya doing

Havent been by my site for awhile.

I got a new post up you may want to read.

Hope you have A BLESSED Week

LWM: Greetings and Blessed Day to you, there is a new communication with the ALBs

if your interested.

LWM : Blessings to you. Come check out the new Faery pictures at my blog when you can

LWM: New Angle Like Beings blog entry, its has changed my life in a positive way. Come read when you can maybe it will aid you as well in these hard times

Meryet: Thanks for stopping by. I was a lil worried bout ya! I hope you and your family are well! Give Amy my best ((hugs))

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Richmama: Hi..blog hopping here..nice site you have here!

LWM: Hi Stop by for my new Angelic Feather Project post

LWM: New message from the ALBs

at my place, come on over if you like. In any case my your holidays be stress free and blessed, remember you are truly an amazing unique spiritual creature

and you are loved

Sometimes we forget such thing

Fire-Fox: Seasons Grettings and best wishes for the New Year from Bajan Fire Fighters.

LWM: Come on over its time to fight the Dark Dragon within

mystic: yeah the wolf is my favorite and then some ty for stopping over and i know what you mean about my comment ty again

naturalskeptic: Hey you!! Hope you had a happy turkey day! I can't see what I'm typing so I hope it comes out!

bb: Don't eat to much

, have a good thanks giving.

mystic: and thanksgiving blessings to you and yorus my der friend

mystic: hope all is better for you hope you had a great w/e i sure did

Garf: hi would you mind adding my link here? if so let me know..tnx

GK: blog hopping

mystic: ty i am always changinv the thing lol have a freat day

Garf: care to exchange link?

mystic: hi back i had a great w/e thanks hope you ddi the same have a good week

LWM: /Come Visit when you can

Monday, June 16th 2008

6:21 PM

The Burn

Amy & the boys took me out today for Fathers Day, Amy had to work yesterday so that is why we did it today. We had a nice family time out it was really nice.

I saw my case worker today, I told her about my thoughts of wanting to to burn myself again but that I have been able to keep from giving in so far. She said she would put it in her notes that I was thinking about hurting myself again but that I have been able to keep myself occupied with other things so far.

I see my tdoc on the 3rd of July & I am afraid if I tell her I have been thinking about burning myself again she will put me back in to the hospital. I don't want to go back in esp. over the holiday. I want to be honest with her esp. if she has read my case workers report, I don't want to be caught in a lie.

My case worker asked me why did I want to hurt myself, I told her I guess that it was because I want to feel like I am in charge of something in my life & trying to control how much physical pain I am in will help since I can't control how much mental pain I am in. By her response I figure that is what she had already knew.

I want to do it, but what keeps me from doing it is Amy & the boys, she said if I did it again she would call my tdoc & have me put back in the hospital & she also said she wouldn't let the boys be around that sort of thing. So I have to worry about Amy & the boys leaving if I did it again.

It isn't where I think about it all the time, but when I do think about it I want to do it really bad. I am going to say it is like if someone smokes, how much they need that nicotine, when I am in the mood to burn myself I really want that satisfaction of the burn.

I know to you this my sound completely crazy, but to me it sounds like sweet release, however I wont do it because there are more important things in my life.